Victims focus on the problem and guess what? It doesn't change anything. The problem is still there - it doesn't go away. They just feel miserable and beat themselves up.
People who create the life they want focus on outcomes. They understand that worrying about things out of their control isn't helpful, so they don't. Instead they set their sights on the outcome they want to achieve and focus like a laser as they work towards that.
Give it a try. You can't control a lot of what happens in life, but you can control how you respond to it.