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Be kind… to yourself

|  —  04/01/17

I’m good at being kind to other people. I’m friendly, forgiving and empathetic.

When I did the VIA Institute on Character’s strengths survey recently, forgiveness came out number one, followed by kindness.  

But when it comes to the way I treat myself, I’m nowhere near as nice.

My expectations of my own behaviour and performance are far higher than those I have for anyone else. I’m critical of myself, judgmental, unforgiving, harsh, and sometimes downright nasty.

I’d never dream of treating someone else that way.

When we talk about the importance of being kind, it’s usually in regard to the way we treat others, but in 2017 I’m making a commitment to be kinder to myself.

It’s probably the most difficult resolution I’ve ever set – far more challenging than any physical or business related goal I’ve put in place.

You see, being kind to myself goes against my ingrained perfectionist tendencies. It’s not something that’s going to come easy, but I’m determined. Perseverance was number three on my character strength survey, so I’m in with a chance!

Over the last few years I’ve got a lot better at overcoming perfectionism, but I’m still a work in progress.

I wrote about the problem with perfection on my blog last year and I know it’s not only unattainable, but also damaging. Excellence is a far superior aim.

I know the importance of looking after myself and putting my own oxygen mask on first, because you can’t look after other people if you don’t first look after yourself.  

I can now see failure as a learning opportunity and a necessary part of ultimate success, rather than something to be ashamed or embarrassed about.

I refuse to give in to self-doubt; am comfortable with being uncomfortable; and seek out challenges, even if they scare me.

But when it comes to the basics of being kind and cutting myself the same slack I give others, I still fall a long way short.

That needs to change.

It doesn’t mean I won’t push myself or strive to be the best I can be, but it does mean I allow myself to be human.

Rather than live the old adage of ‘treat other people how you’d like to be treated’, my aim this year is ‘treat yourself how you treat others’.

Wish me luck!

Leah Mether is a communications specialist, trainer, professional speaker, and recovering perfectionist. To read more of Leah’s blog or keep up with the latest news and events from her business, Methmac Communications, visit www.methmac.com.au.

Leah Mether is a communication and soft skills trainer obsessed with making the people part of leadership and work life easier.

With more than 15 years’ experience working with thousands of clients, and an acclaimed book to her name, Leah knows what it takes to communicate under pressure. Like you, she knows the challenge of conflict, personality clashes, and difficult conversations.

Leah is renowned for her practical, engaging, straight-shooting style. Utilising her Five Cs® model of communication, she helps leaders and teams shift from knowing to doing, and radically improve their effectiveness.

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