“When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time.” I’ve been reflecting on Maya Angelou’s words a lot lately. It doesn’t mean you excuse or accept poor behaviour. Or that people can’t change. But it does mean you don’t let yourself be surprised or disappointed when someone acts as they have always […]

An intense fear of failure stifles many people’s communication. Our fear of saying the wrong thing and offending someone keeps us silent, or our concern about embarrassing ourselves in front of the boss means we don’t put forward a suggestion about a new initiative. So many of us see failure as a bad thing, something […]

No: Two letters, one syllable, a clear meaning. It should be easy to say, but for many of us it’s not. Learning how to say no can be a real challenge, particularly for the people pleasers and high achievers amongst us. It’s something I struggle with myself. Not because I’m passive or intimidated, but because I genuinely […]

We all experience it – the end of year catch up with ‘that’ circle of friends or family group involving a person who will almost certainly create drama by what they say or do to you or others. This Christmas, the potential for conflict is even higher given the range of strong opinions people have […]

Email, phone call, meeting, text message, instant message… With so many modes of communication available to us, sometimes our favoured platform is not the most appropriate for the type of communication we are engaging in. Like the email ping-pong that could have been a five-minute phone call. Or the hour-long meeting that could have been […]

What sort of mindset do you have – closed or curious? In these ever-changing times, we are being continually challenged to consider new ideas, information, and ways of working.  Adopting a curious mindset is key to unlocking effective communication, personal growth and leadership under this pressure. It’s one of the most important ‘soft’ or ‘human’ […]

When Nathan Buckley first started coaching Collingwood 10 years ago, he led his players as he liked to be led. As a player and Brownlow medallist, he was known as a perfectionist with incredible discipline, drive, professionalism and a ‘type A’ personality. He initially took this approach as coach – with a hard command and […]

Gavin was frustrated. The project team had been going around in circles on a crucial decision for more than 40 minutes without getting anywhere. “Righto,” said Gavin, cutting off his colleague who was speaking about her concerns for at least the third time. “It’s time to put this to a vote: Are we going ahead […]

What happens in your head when you hear the word BUT? For many of us, ‘but’ cancels everything that was said before it. When someone says ‘Yes, but…’ after we’ve made a suggestion, we hear ‘no’ or feel like the other person is ignoring or diminishing what we said. If your boss intends to be […]

“Have you got five minutes?” Only, we all know it’s never five minutes and it’s usually asked for right when we’re about to race off to a meeting, are on deadline for an important task, or focussed on an important task. For many of us (particularly the people pleasers and passive communicators) the yes response […]