What happens in your head when you hear the word BUT? For many of us, ‘but’ cancels everything that was said before it. When someone says ‘Yes, but…’ after we’ve made a suggestion, we hear ‘no’ or feel like the other person is ignoring or diminishing what we said. If your boss intends to be […]
Communication at Christmas can be fraught at the best of times. But this year, after the cluster-f…storm that has been 2020, the potential for conflict is higher than usual, with many people stumbling towards the finish line exhausted, traumatised, and polarised in their opinions. Tolerance levels are low, tempers short, stress levels high, and patience […]
Of all the things I thought I’d be writing about at the start of 2020, how to communicate while wearing a face mask was not on my list. But here we are, and the good news is, I’ve got some tips to help. As many of you have probably discovered, wearing a face mask takes […]
It’s a phrase that’s been uttered by politicians and medical experts repeatedly over the last nine weeks in relation to community behaviour and our response to COVID-19. “Use common sense”, they tell us. “It’s basic common sense”, they say. Every time I hear it, I cringe. Why? Because common sense is not common.
What do you do when someone gives you a compliment? Do you dismiss it? “Oh, I was just doing my job.” “It was nothing.” “No, big deal.” Deflect? “Everyone else worked way harder than me.” Or reject it outright and use the opportunity to talk yourself down? “Don’t lie, I was crap.”
How do I make someone talk about an issue when they don’t want to? That’s the question Lisa* asked me after attending my Don’t Shoot the Messenger workshop. Lisa was married with four kids and her relationship with her husband was in trouble. She’d tried to speak with him about their challenges many times, but […]
This year marks 12 years since I worked as a newspaper journalist for the Latrobe Valley Express in Gippsland, Victoria. I loved being part of the newsroom: the pace, the energy, the banter, the inside scoop on what was going on. But it was more than that. My time as a journo taught me skills […]
Once you’ve had a difficult conversation, it’s tempting to think your job is done, but the best communicators know the high-pressure conversation is not the end of the story. If you want to maintain your relationship with a person, it’s important you continue to communicate with them regularly and follow up after a difficult conversation […]
When losing control is your normal, your communication also loses its effectiveness. People ignore what you say because your behaviour distracts and detracts from your message. When you lose your cool – regardless of how legitimate your message is – the focus shifts to your behaviour instead.
