Evolve or repeat, you choose

"Evolve or repeat, you choose."

That was the message on the tag of my teabag last week as I looked out over the Tallebudgera Valley in Queensland.

It couldn't have been more timely.

How often do we know something isn't working for us, but keep doing it anyway?

We repeat the same behaviours, fall into the same habits and make the same mistakes because our default patterns are deeply ingrained and familiar.

That's certainly the case for me.

Last week I stepped away from my business for three days to attend my dear friend Repa Patel's Mindful Leadership Retreat for executive women.

It wasn't about leadership strategy or how to lead others. It was about looking inward, connecting with ourselves and reflecting on how we could lead ourselves better.

For me, that meant confronting a familiar pattern - overwork.

Anyone who knows me knows my default is action. I like to get things done, solve problems, move things forward and make progress. My drive and work ethic have always been strengths.

But strengths can be overplayed.

For a long time, I've relied heavily on my mind to think, plan, create, achieve and, above all, do - in both my professional and personal life.

And while that's served me well in many ways, it's also come at a cost.

I'm a whole human. I'm more than my work. And I need to listen to more than my head.

Last week challenged me to do that. To practise stillness rather than action, feeling rather than thinking, being rather than doing.

It didn't feel wrong. In fact, it felt like coming home. But it did feel unpractised.

Overwork, on the other hand, is something I've practised a lot.

And that's the thing about our patterns. We get good at what we repeatedly practise, even when it's not good for us.

I can't think my way through changing this. I need to listen to more than my head and practise a different way of operating.

Your pattern might be different.

Maybe you avoid difficult conversations, take on too much, say yes when you want to say no, become controlling under pressure, react defensively, or keep pushing through when you know you need to stop.

What strength might you be overplaying? What pattern are you repeating because it's familiar? And what do you need to practise instead?

Leadership starts with you. You can't lead other people unless you lead yourself first.

Last week was a reminder for me to keep leading myself, too.

And that sometimes, I need to spend less time doing and more time being.