The words we tell ourselves have the power to influence how we feel.
I was reminded of this last week when, in a morning of frustration, I caught myself muttering over and over, “I hate remote learning.”
You see, I have three primary school-aged boys at home at the moment and although my husband is here to help (thank goodness!), some days the working from home/learning from home juggle is brutal.
While I stomped around in frustration, repeating my mantra of hate, I noticed what was happening to my mind and body. I was getting more and more worked up and my mood was growing darker and darker. I was snappy and my tolerance was non-existent.
As I turned the pages of my flipchart aggressively in preparation for a virtual workshop (ironically on self-management at times of stress), the words I’d written beside Stephen Covey’s ‘Circles of Influence’ model jumped out at me: “Where your attention goes, your energy flows.”
Bam! That stopped me in my tracks.
Our words have power and mine were focussed on the wrong thing.
In the current climate, it’s easy to focus our words backwards on what we can’t control and say things like, “I miss…”, “I wish…”, “I hate…”.
And while saying and feeling these things is perfectly normal, it’s important to be aware of the impact this inner dialogue can have on our wellbeing.
Ask yourself:
The good news is small changes to our words can have a big impact.
Instead of “I miss…” and focussing on all the things we can’t do at the moment, try reframing your language to focus forwards by saying things like, “I’m so looking forward to…” or “I can’t wait for…”.
Instead of “I hate”, try gratitude by reframing to “I really appreciate…”.
That’s what I consciously did that morning. I took a big deep breath and shifted my mantra from “I hate remote learning” to “I LOVE teachers”, “I so appreciate schools”, and “bring on term four”.
It helped me and I hope it also helps you.
Leah Mether helps people get out of their own way with the development of soft skills (which are really hard). She is a speaker, trainer, facilitator, mentor and author of the book Soft is the New Hard: How to Communicate Effectively Under Pressure.
Leah Mether is a communication and soft skills trainer obsessed with making the people part of leadership and work life easier.
With more than 15 years’ experience working with thousands of clients, and an two acclaimed books to her name, Leah knows what it takes to communicate under pressure. Like you, she knows the challenge of conflict, personality clashes, and difficult conversations.
Leah is renowned for her practical, engaging, straight-shooting style. Utilising her Five Cs® model of communication, she helps leaders and teams shift from knowing to doing, and radically improve their effectiveness.
