How do I make someone talk about an issue when they don’t want to?
That’s the question Lisa* asked me after attending my Don’t Shoot the Messenger workshop.
Lisa was married with four kids and her relationship with her husband was in trouble.
She’d tried to speak with him about their challenges many times, but he point-blank refused to engage.
She asked me what she should do.
The simple answer is you can’t MAKE someone talk about an issue if they don’t want to. You also can’t MAKE them listen to or hear what’s being said.
What you can do though, is influence them by framing the conversation in a way that encourages them to participate.
Here are six tips on how:
After that, the ball’s in their court. Give them time to process and think about it and then let the chips fall where they may.
You’ve outlined your choice and now it’s time for them to make theirs.
Hopefully, they’ll come to the party and have the tough conversation, but if they don’t and you decide to walk away – from either the conversation or the relationship – you can do so knowing you did everything you could.
*Name changed.
Leah Mether is a communications and soft skill specialist. She works as a speaker, trainer, facilitator, coach and author. Her book Soft is the New Hard: How to Communicate Effectively Under Pressure is described as a masterclass for leaders.
#communication #feedback #courage #empathy #conversation #relationships
Leah Mether is a communication and soft skills trainer obsessed with making the people part of leadership and work life easier.
With more than 15 years’ experience working with thousands of clients, and an acclaimed book to her name, Leah knows what it takes to communicate under pressure. Like you, she knows the challenge of conflict, personality clashes, and difficult conversations.
Leah is renowned for her practical, engaging, straight-shooting style. Utilising her Five Cs® model of communication, she helps leaders and teams shift from knowing to doing, and radically improve their effectiveness.